I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
