elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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