Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
