If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
