That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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