yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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