he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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