Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
