Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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