If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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