Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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