were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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