You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
