Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
