P.S. I can't hear my feet
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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