Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
