he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
