So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
