the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
