ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
