she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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