I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
