yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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