I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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