I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
