I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
