Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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