yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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