Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
tell me about the fingering
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
