are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
