I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
