What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
