He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
