u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
