So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize