how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
