Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
