areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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