I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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