Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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