I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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