So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
