awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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