Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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