If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
