That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize