he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
