i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
tell your sister to shave her snatch
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
