You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
