My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
