Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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