So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
organizing the empties. That sober.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
