Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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