So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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