he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You don't make any sense
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