my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I AM VODKA MAN
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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