So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize