That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think my moral compass just broke
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
