Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
