its not stalking. its research.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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