it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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