4 words: hood of his car
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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