All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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