so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
