3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize