Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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