hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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